Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Assumptions People Make Because I'm a Minster



#1) I MELT WHEN YOU CUSS

People who normally have a knack for profanity seem to bottle it or correct themselves around me.

I was around a group of people the other day who were getting ready to say a joke. The person delivering the joke aknowledged me for a moment in saying that he would not say the joke around me because it was vulger.

When people learned that I have served as a pastor, life around me becomes rated G. People go from Eddie Murphy to Walt Disney in seconds. Someone will drop 'the F bomb', turn their heads, notice me, and offer an ambarrassed apology. I can't count how many times I will be excluded from conversation for fear of tainting my 'virgin ears'.

I understand the unwritten rule about respecting a 'Man of God', but I have something to say: not only have I heard it before, I used to say it...A LOT. Yes, after my Christian conversion, I decided swearing was something I wanted to leave behind. Beforehand, I would have made a sailor blush. I wasn't an athlete, but if cussing was a sport, I would've been an MVP.

Some remember me in my early years, walking into a church, discovering a highly offensive way of praising the Lord. "----in' halelujiah! Praise the ----in' Lord!Give God the mother----in' praise!" Oh yes. I prided myself in profanity.

And in short, people, I won't melt if you cuss. It's not like I want you to, but I'm not a porcelin doll who will crack and break either. I'm a veteran who used it all and then some. So please, stop being such a ----- and be ----in' honest and just be your ----in' self!